20Something 9-28-05 (Scot Pankey)

The gift of Receiving

Question for group – What kind of things make holes in our hearts so we can’t accept God’s love for us? Allow for Discussion about past hurts.

Say: These things all play a part. It goes deeper, though. Research tells us that most of our ability to just be and receive love is formed by the time we’re just 1 or 2 years old. And a lot of it comes from our first and primary relationships – our parents.

What kind of things can a baby learn from its relationship with its parents? What does a baby learn when the parent holds, kisses, feeds, and cares for the baby?

All these things develop our sense of being – our sense of well-being and security that helps us receive and accept love.

What is the opposite of being? Doing! Many people who don’t have a strong sense of being live life trying to do things to earn people’s love, rather than being able to simply receive love.

Is it hard for you to receive love? Why?

Remember the story of Jesus visiting Mary and Martha for dinner? Have group read Luke 10:38-41

38As they continued their travel, Jesus entered a village. A woman by the name of Martha welcomed him and made him feel quite at home. 39She had a sister, Mary, who sat before Jesus, hanging on every word he said. 40But Martha was pulled away by all she had to do in the kitchen. Later, she stepped in, interrupting them. "Jesus, don't you care that my sister has abandoned the kitchen to me? Tell her to lend me a hand." 41Then Jesus said, "Martha, dear Martha, you're fussing far too much and getting yourself worked up over nothing.

Martha ran around trying to do things to earn Jesus’ approval and love, while Mary was able to just sit and be with Jesus. Martha’s cup probably had a lot more holes in it than Mary’s did.

Do you consider yourself a Mary or Martha?

At the end of the story, Jesus tells the sisters that Mary had chosen the better way – that is, sitting with him, conversing with him…not running around in the kitchen. Jesus tells us the same thing, too. It’s better for us to learn to sit and BE with Jesus rather than trying to earn God’s love.

Does our culture encourage us to be still and…BE?

Because our culture says it’s isn’t cool to just be…we have to DO all the time. We’re often to busy to have relationships. We get so busy that we take little time to be still and listen to God. God has lots to say to us, but we often just can’t sit still and listen.

Our ability to receive God’s love is often blocked because we make ourselves so busy or we invite things in our life that blocks us from hearing God.

What are some things that block us from hearing God?

Think about your ability to receive love as if it were a styrofoam cup holding water. What does your cup look like?

Cup with no holes – Full of God’s love.

Cup with a few holes – They receive God’s love and other people’s love at times, but it
doesn’t last.

Cup with plastic on top – They feel like things in their busy life or other things get in the
Way of them receiving God’s love or anyone else’s.

Cup with no bottom – They feel like they have no capacity to hold love at all.

Is it harder for you to do something for God or to simply be with God?
What things do you feel you received sufficiently when you were very young?
What things do you think were missing?
How can we pray for you?

Have group spread out in the room and spend time just listening to God speak to them.

Bring them back together to pray and dismiss.

20Something 9-21-05 (Jen Austin)

Generosity

A generous spirit is something that should identify every Christian. Jesus commanded us to love and care for those around us, and Paul expanded upon this in 2 Corinthians 9:12-14. It says:

This service that you perform is not only supplying the needs of God's people but is also overflowing in many expressions of thanks to God. Because of the service by which you have proved yourselves, men will praise God for the obedience that accompanies your confession of the gospel of Christ, and for your generosity in sharing with them and with everyone else. And in their prayers for you their hearts will go out to you, because of the surpassing grace God has given you.

Why should we give? Who benefits?

If someone on the street asks you for change, what is your first thought? Do you give?

Do you ever fear that if you’re too generous you may run out of resources? (Money, time, energy, etc.) If so, what effect does this have on your generosity?

The verse in 2 Corinthians right before this passage says:

You will be made rich in every way so that you can be generous on every occasion, and through us your generosity will result in thanksgiving to God.

What are some ways that you could be made rich?

Why do we still struggle? How does our state of mind affect our generosity?

The story of the Good Samaritan is found in Luke 10:30-35. It says:

Jesus said: "A man was going down from Jerusalem to Jericho, when he fell into the hands of robbers. They stripped him of his clothes, beat him and went away, leaving him half dead. A priest happened to be going down the same road, and when he saw the man, he passed by on the other side. So too, a Levite, when he came to the place and saw him, passed by on the other side. But a Samaritan, as he traveled, came where the man was; and when he saw him, he took pity on him. He went to him and bandaged his wounds, pouring on oil and wine. Then he put the man on his own donkey, took him to an inn and took care of him. The next day he took out two silver coins and gave them to the innkeeper. 'Look after him,' he said, 'and when I return, I will reimburse you for any extra expense you may have.

The Samaritan was traveling, so he had his own plans and his own schedule, but he saw that this man was in need and stopped to help. Did he go above and beyond?

Why do you think the priest and the Levite kept going and did not stop to help? Have you been in that position?

What opportunities do you have to be generous in your life right now? Is it difficult?

How does it make you feel to give generously?

Matthew 6:1-4 says:

Be careful not to do your 'acts of righteousness' before men, to be seen by them. If you do, you will have no reward from your Father in heaven. So when you give to the needy, do not announce it with trumpets, as the hypocrites do in the synagogues and on the streets, to be honored by men. I tell you the truth, they have received their reward in full. But when you give to the needy, do not let your left hand know what your right hand is doing, so that your giving may be in secret. Then your Father, who sees what is done in secret, will reward you.

Why is it important to give quietly?

Is it also important to allow your generosity to inspire others? Perhaps celebrities announce million dollar donations to hurricane relief with the hope that it will encourage others to give as well. What are your thoughts about letting this be known?

What are your thoughts about giving with a reward in mind?

God will see that we always have enough. As is the case with every aspect of Christianity, generosity requires faith. Giving may be painful at times and we may ask ourselves how we can be expected to be generous toward others when we struggle to pay our own bills, but if we step out in faith and give anyway, God will repay us in a way that God sees fit. There is abundance in God. An abundance of grace, mercy, and love, and as we allow that to filter out toward those in need around us, our own supply will be replenished and multiplied.

Ephesians 3:20-21:

Now to the One who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to the power that is at work within us, to God be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, for ever and ever! Amen.

Pray and dismiss. Have a great week!

20Something 9-7-05 (Scot Pankey)

Today we will be talking about self esteem and affirmations and how God can work in both of these areas of our lives.

Listen to how Ruth affirms Naomi in Ruth 2:16-17 And Ruth said to her: Entreat me not to leave you, or to return from following after you: For whither thou goest I will go and whither thou lodgest I will lodge; and your people will be my people and your God my God. And where you die I will die and there I will be buried. May the Lord do so to me and more also if anything but death parts thee from me."

Who in your life has affirmed you? How so?

Do you affirm yourself?

Affirmations increase self esteem

Feed your mind with positive affirmations. They can overcome persistent negative thoughts and help to promote a healthy state of mind.

Affirmations combat negative baggage in your brain. Without realizing it you tell yourself negative things constantly. The result is a destructive belief system which holds you back and prevents you succeeding. One very effective way to change this belief system so that it becomes helpful to you is to replace misguided negative messages with new positive ones.

Affirmations will only work if they are true! The following affirmations are some that are use and which may be helpful for you. You can also develop others of your own. The power they have to alter your life will make itself felt if you repeat them DAILY and when you are thinking negatively. Try to focus on one affirmation and consider what it means to you in your life. Tell yourself:

I deserve to be happy and successful
I have the power to change myself
I can forgive and understand others and their motives
I can make my own choices and decisions
I am free to choose to live as I wish and to give priority to my desires
I can choose happiness whenever I wish no matter what my circumstances
I am flexible and open to change in every aspect of my life
I act with confidence having a general plan and accept plans are open to alteration
It is enough to have done my best
I deserve to be loved

Do you incorporate these Affirmations into your daily life?

Which ones are hard for you to believe for yourself?

What affirmations would you add to these?

Where does God fit in all of these?

Self Motivation
This is central to everything positive that you want to do in your life. Perhaps it is even more important than your self esteem!
Why? Because if you want to improve your self esteem or improve yourself in any way at all you first need the inner desire and will to do it.
I hear you saying that not everything comes from within. You may be motivated by external factors, others may encourage you to start something new or begin moving in a positive direction. You can be motivated by faith, by your belief in God and in doing what is right. You can even be motivated by negative events to achieve positively.
But what is the result of these external factors? Motivation - you are moved to achieve something you badly want.

Why you need self motivation
You cannot always rely on others to encourage you, if you have positive friends who are always there when you need them then you are indeed lucky and very much in the minority. If you are lonely or have few friends when you face any difficulties in your life you must rely on your own motivation to get you through. Lack of self motivation at that time could lead to depression.
You need self motivation to achieve because if you don't encourage yourself to accept opportunity and challenge who will?

To plan and find direction in your life
To take up a new activity, hobby or challenge
To be enthusiastic about life and living
To have the courage to see things through despite setbacks or negative comments from others

This is not an exhaustive list because self motivation is so important in every aspect of your life. The very fact that you are here searching for answers and trying to improve yourself shows that you are motivated.

Do you agree or disagree with the list above?

What if you lack self motivation?
How can you become motivated again? Good question!

Here are some suggestions:
Focus on what you really enjoy doing, maybe on something you want to take up or on a hobby you've always wanted to devote more time to. What's stopping you? Think about giving it priority to start doing what you love doing.

Make a list of things you'd like to improve on and how you're going to do it
Review all the successes you've enjoyed in every area of your life, totally forget any negatives, just positive successes here!
Start an exercise program - force yourself to do it, it'll make you feel much more positive.
Contact a positive friend and have a chat.
Read inspiring books that will help heal your mind and improve your attitude.
Have a quite time with God. Spend quality time with God everyday by reading the Bible, prayer, journaling and other ways.

Lack of motivation happens to us all!
Even the most positive of people sometimes face a situation where they lack motivation. This happens to us all because we all face the same or at least similar difficulties in life. True you may be affected more or less than others because you react differently to the challenges and setbacks which you face. It is your attitude and responses to life which dictate how you feel.

Abusive people lower your self esteem and put you down. If you live with an abusive person you are at a big disadvantage and may suffer very low confidence. The best advice is to get this abusive person out of your life, don't accept abuse ever. If you absolutely can't escape that person then you need great inner strength and God’s help to stand up to it.
You may have friends who are negative or who put you down. This shows they have a problem but the tragedy is these people suck you dry of positive energy and being with negative people can only sap your inner strengths. Chances are that any self motivation you have they will slowly destroy and bring you down to their level.

Do you have friends that put you down?

What is so great about having God in our lives is that our Creator never puts us down. God lifts us up because of who we are not because of how we look, our jobs, or even where we live. God looks at our heart.

1 Samuel 16: 6-13
6 When they arrived, Samuel saw Eliab and thought, "Surely the LORD's anointed stands here before the LORD."
7 But the LORD said to Samuel, "Do not consider his appearance or his height, for I have rejected him. The LORD does not look at the things man looks at. Man looks at the outward appearance, but the LORD looks at the heart."
8 Then Jesse called Abinadab and had him pass in front of Samuel. But Samuel said, "The LORD has not chosen this one either." 9 Jesse then had Shammah pass by, but Samuel said, "Nor has the LORD chosen this one." 10 Jesse had seven of his sons pass before Samuel, but Samuel said to him, "The LORD has not chosen these." 11 So he asked Jesse, "Are these all the sons you have?" "There is still the youngest," Jesse answered, "but he is tending the sheep." Samuel said, "Send for him; we will not sit down [a] until he arrives."
12 So he sent and had him brought in. He was ruddy, with a fine appearance and handsome features. Then the LORD said, "Rise and anoint him; he is the one."
13 So Samuel took the horn of oil and anointed him in the presence of his brothers, and from that day on the Spirit of the LORD came upon David in power. Samuel then went to Ramah.

Just as Samuel affirmed David, go around your circle and affirm others in your group.
Pray and dismiss.

20Something 8-31-05 (Jen Austin)

20Something 8/31/05
Prayer

The God of the universe is only a breath away. It’s amazing to think that a being of this magnitude—Who so carefully crafted Adam and Eve, Moses, Jesus, and each one of us, and Who has the power to breathe life into us each day—is so utterly accessible. Usually power resides in a corner office and requires an appointment and a conversation with the secretary. But the living God is in our midst, and we need only open our mouths to open a meaningful conversation. There is incredible power in that.

Do you think there are right ways and wrong ways to pray?

Do you pray in the same manner every day? How do you pray?

Matthew 21:18-22

18Early in the morning, as Jesus was on his way back to the city, he was hungry. 19Seeing a fig tree by the road, he went up to it but found nothing on it except leaves. Then he said to it, "May you never bear fruit again!" Immediately the tree withered.
20When the disciples saw this, they were amazed. "How did the fig tree wither so quickly?" they asked.
21Jesus replied, "I tell you the truth, if you have faith and do not doubt, not only can you do what was done to the fig tree, but also you can say to this mountain, 'Go, throw yourself into the sea,' and it will be done. 22If you believe, you will receive whatever you ask for in prayer."

In the Gospel of Mark, Jesus cursed the fig tree on Monday, and by Tuesday morning it was withered. In the Gospel of Matthew, the fig tree withered instantly. Even though the Gospels disagree on the timeline, the incident speaks to the incredible faith that Jesus possessed. Jesus was so connected and tuned in to God that he seemed to be one with everything that God created. He understood things as God understood them, thus he had a great deal of command over them. He believed what he asked for in prayer. And he received it.

What stops us from having that type of faith? What keeps us from feeling like we are one with God?

Do you believe what you ask for in prayer? Do you always receive it? If not, why not? (The latter may be an impossible question.)

The night before Jesus was crucified (just after he had finished The Last Supper), he went to Gethsemane to pray. Think of the concerns, the fears, and the doubts Jesus may have had rushing through his mind at that moment! He was going to die the following day. Jesus took Peter, James, and John with him as he prayed.

Matthew 26: 38-44
38Then he said to them, "My soul is overwhelmed with sorrow to the point of death. Stay here and keep watch with me."
39Going a little farther, he fell with his face to the ground and prayed, "My God, if it is possible, may this cup be taken from me. Yet not as I will, but as you will."
40Then he returned to his disciples and found them sleeping. "Could you men not keep watch with me for one hour?" he asked Peter. 41"Watch and pray so that you will not fall into temptation. The spirit is willing, but the body is weak."
42He went away a second time and prayed, "My Father, if it is not possible for this cup to be taken away unless I drink it, may your will be done."
43When he came back, he again found them sleeping, because their eyes were heavy. 44So he left them and went away once more and prayed the third time, saying the same thing.
45Then he returned to the disciples and said to them, "Are you still sleeping and resting? Look, the hour is near, and the Son of Man is betrayed into the hands of sinners. 46Rise, let us go! Here comes my betrayer!"

It is obvious Jesus wanted to be alone to pray the first time. But the second and third time, it seems as though Jesus prayed because the disciples were asleep. Jesus must have felt a tremendous human void at that moment. His closest friends and followers chose to sleep rather than spend his last night on earth comforting him. But perhaps they didn’t fully understand or accept what was to happen the next day.

With all that Jesus had on his mind that night, he was still able to focus. Do you think it was difficult for him? In what ways did his faith guide him?

When it seems as though our closest friends and family members have abandoned us and we are all alone, God is there. We simply have to make a move toward God. Why is it so important to actively seek God?

What are the implications of praying face down? Have you ever done this?

Jesus’ faith told him to pray not according to his own will, but according to God’s will. Can you think of a time when your will was different than God’s will? How did God answer that prayer? Was it hard to accept the outcome?

God did not answer Jesus’ prayer to “take the cup from him.” God’s will was for Jesus to be crucified the following day. What can we learn from Jesus’ example?

God may not answer every prayer according to our will, but God will answer them. God desires a close relationship with each of us individually, and having an active prayer life is the chief way to feed that relationship. God want us to pray each time the thought pops into our head. We shouldn’t put it off until evening or until our next free moment. Prayer is instant access to God and it’s important to follow through with prayer each time the mood strikes. God is waiting.

1 Thessalonians 5:16-18:
Be joyful always; pray continually; give thanks in all circumstances, for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus.

When we seek God every day, our lives become living prayers. In this way, we fulfill God’s desire for each of us to pray continually.

Pray continually and give thanks this week. We love you!